Online Verhalen

helpless in hell

do you dare to
face truth behind
the masks of my blood
'cause truth isn't kind
it hurts a lot
because it's all true

the love that you see
isn't for real now
people all know
the reasons and how
to make one go
but I beg to flee

and angels don't excist
they're just flies
seem to be wonderfull
can't anwser why's
they're really awfull
and not on my list

that's the reason to go
all other ones will flee
they don't wanna feel
never wanna see
but it's all real
some need to know

but those who do understand
cannot stop the end or
don't see what my words meant

Lost-soul, jij hier? *knipoog*
Ik vind je gedicht... goed, maar op rijmen heb ik zeker beter van je gezien! (tenminste, ik néem aan dat je de lost-soul van rijmen.nl bent)
Nouja, in het begin zei je ergens
"because it's all true"
en dat vond ik een beetje overbodig. Je had immers al gezegd dat de waarheid niet fijn was. "De waarheid is niet fijn, omdat het allemaal waar is" klinkt een beetje te dubbelop. Snapje?
Nouja, opzich vind ik het onderwerp ook een beetje uitgekauwd, maar voorderest is het leesbaar! Probeer eens iets orgineler uit de hoek te komen door ander woordgebruik of rijmschema's!

Liefs,
Maria

jup it's me strated here now... aint going back I think to rijmen .... dunno why but something new..... anyway .... boutt his poem.. well my writing isn't to good these days perhaps cause of the things that happen right here.... but just had to post this... because it's most feelings ..... and well ..... I may pick the wrong poem sometimes as I write pretty much poetry but aint posting all anymore ... too personall
nice to see that you're here as well ... one of the not so many of rijmen I know a bit.... anyway we'll read again