The loveletter I'll never send
Geplaatst: 06 nov 2008 21:16
Dear you,
I can’t understand why we never said something. Or actually, me. Though I thought there was a day your feelings could compete with mine. They were quite the same. My emotions were, no ARE probably a lot stronger than yours ever were or will be. My desire’s are still there, the need to see you, the way I love how you smile. Or the sparkle in your eyes when your intuition tells you something is going on. How playful you were when you distracted me, just when I needed it. The day we went to the movies and saw only each other. That was also the day you took home with you my heart…
I was happy, I was in love, and I was stupid. My head was overfilled with worries and my heart was struggling with doubt. Should I..? Or was it better to wait until you took the lead? I was never able to find the courage to tell you. Though my desires grew stronger every single day and soon enough I was an addict. Hopeless and ready to die while getting her drug.
I have to admit that it was very hard for me. I got use to being hard and never to give in. You were the first guy I trusted again after I left my past behind. But I think we both know that love-stories such as these never have a happy-ending, so why would it be otherwise in our situation? That was also the reason I wasn’t surprised at all when the fairytale ended.
I think you became tired waiting. Your heart became bitter and the thought of me made you made. You couldn’t find the reason I was holding in. I don’t know… But I wonder? Why did you decide to throw away everything? So finally every day I couldn’t find the courage, your love was slowly dropping out of you. And time past by an we both grew older.
I still was hopelessly in love with you. Your face teasing me in my dreams and even when sitting in class. But you were already giving away your heart to somebody else. My face was fading away out of your memory, my name was slowly getting erased of your heart, and the piece of your soul I was able to keep for about a while, you were giving it to another girl.
And then the time came it was far to late. Somewhere, I realized that, but I ignored the warning. I refused to give up. But as soon as that other girl came in the position to be the guardian of your heart, that was the moment you broke mine into a million peaces. Killing the angel in me with a cold face, as if it was nothing.
My heart got out of his rhythm, and so did my life. My soul lost his warmth and the ability to care. And in the so-called mirrors of the soul, my eyes, you would see only the reflected pain, because inside, for nothing else I could find space.
I know I’m still young, and I know I’ll love again. But you and my love FOR you, will leave a scar going right through me, my soul , my heart.
And that scar will have the shape of your name…
With love, for always yours,
Christina
(elk woord is gemeend, ik moest het kwijt)
I can’t understand why we never said something. Or actually, me. Though I thought there was a day your feelings could compete with mine. They were quite the same. My emotions were, no ARE probably a lot stronger than yours ever were or will be. My desire’s are still there, the need to see you, the way I love how you smile. Or the sparkle in your eyes when your intuition tells you something is going on. How playful you were when you distracted me, just when I needed it. The day we went to the movies and saw only each other. That was also the day you took home with you my heart…
I was happy, I was in love, and I was stupid. My head was overfilled with worries and my heart was struggling with doubt. Should I..? Or was it better to wait until you took the lead? I was never able to find the courage to tell you. Though my desires grew stronger every single day and soon enough I was an addict. Hopeless and ready to die while getting her drug.
I have to admit that it was very hard for me. I got use to being hard and never to give in. You were the first guy I trusted again after I left my past behind. But I think we both know that love-stories such as these never have a happy-ending, so why would it be otherwise in our situation? That was also the reason I wasn’t surprised at all when the fairytale ended.
I think you became tired waiting. Your heart became bitter and the thought of me made you made. You couldn’t find the reason I was holding in. I don’t know… But I wonder? Why did you decide to throw away everything? So finally every day I couldn’t find the courage, your love was slowly dropping out of you. And time past by an we both grew older.
I still was hopelessly in love with you. Your face teasing me in my dreams and even when sitting in class. But you were already giving away your heart to somebody else. My face was fading away out of your memory, my name was slowly getting erased of your heart, and the piece of your soul I was able to keep for about a while, you were giving it to another girl.
And then the time came it was far to late. Somewhere, I realized that, but I ignored the warning. I refused to give up. But as soon as that other girl came in the position to be the guardian of your heart, that was the moment you broke mine into a million peaces. Killing the angel in me with a cold face, as if it was nothing.
My heart got out of his rhythm, and so did my life. My soul lost his warmth and the ability to care. And in the so-called mirrors of the soul, my eyes, you would see only the reflected pain, because inside, for nothing else I could find space.
I know I’m still young, and I know I’ll love again. But you and my love FOR you, will leave a scar going right through me, my soul , my heart.
And that scar will have the shape of your name…
With love, for always yours,
Christina
(elk woord is gemeend, ik moest het kwijt)
)
daar hoef je geen sorry voor te zeggen!