Nothing is the same, yet nothing changes
Geplaatst: 05 okt 2006 19:23
Een tijd geleden geschreven... Eindelijk de moed opgebracht het te plaatsen. Misschien weten sommigen dat het eigenlijk in een andere categorie thuishoort, maar houd dat alsjeblieft voor je.
I wonder. Would you've stayed the same person without me? Are you somehow still alive? Some people make things hard to believe. In this case, I mean myself. It just doesn't seem real. How can you not be in this world anymore? How could you leave me..? I wish you trusted me more, wish you could tell me what was going on.
I miss you. Sure, that's normal when you love someone. You have to leave that one at a certain point. At the end of the day, for example. That's kind of how this feels. I can't seem to realize you're truely gone. That I'll never see you again. Never hear you talk. Never kiss you. Never your shoulder to cry on.
While that is what I need right now. Your shoulder to cry out on. Just when it isn't there. When it will never be there anymore. I need your belly to sleep on, your fingers sliding through my hair. I need your warmth, your love. But you aren't here.
You made me mad. You promised not to kill yourself. Promised never to hurt me again. You made a promise. And didn't keep it. Your last words said you did it not to make me go through the pain of losing you again. And again. And again. Why couldn't you see you just made sure the opposite happened?
I don't know. I just don't know. Should I be mad, sad, lonely. Maybe disappointed. There's only one thing I know for sure. I love you, and if I want to or not, that won't change. I won't forget you.
I wonder. Would you've stayed the same person without me? Are you somehow still alive? Some people make things hard to believe. In this case, I mean myself. It just doesn't seem real. How can you not be in this world anymore? How could you leave me..? I wish you trusted me more, wish you could tell me what was going on.
I miss you. Sure, that's normal when you love someone. You have to leave that one at a certain point. At the end of the day, for example. That's kind of how this feels. I can't seem to realize you're truely gone. That I'll never see you again. Never hear you talk. Never kiss you. Never your shoulder to cry on.
While that is what I need right now. Your shoulder to cry out on. Just when it isn't there. When it will never be there anymore. I need your belly to sleep on, your fingers sliding through my hair. I need your warmth, your love. But you aren't here.
You made me mad. You promised not to kill yourself. Promised never to hurt me again. You made a promise. And didn't keep it. Your last words said you did it not to make me go through the pain of losing you again. And again. And again. Why couldn't you see you just made sure the opposite happened?
I don't know. I just don't know. Should I be mad, sad, lonely. Maybe disappointed. There's only one thing I know for sure. I love you, and if I want to or not, that won't change. I won't forget you.